Dec 7, 2013

A Big Block

It's been a whole month, nearly two since I've blogged on this new site I started and also my YouTube page. But I think I'm officially ready to share with you guys my thoughts on life and blah blah blah. Lately I had time to reflect on my life and the next up coming year. I did come across this horoscope in the December issue of Elle ...

"Motto of the month: accept that the one who loves you will one day make you weep." I was unsure as to if it's a good thing or a bad thing. But love in my life right now is ineffective. I'm open for love but not ready for love, if that sounds logical. But In all honesty I'm just not ready. I feel like I have throughout my past daters and sadly-husband-escapers, that in order to have a successful relationship both must contribute equal. Equal in affection, finance (even though I'm only, well more likely open to being with someone who is older and financially stable), and all the other things that make the relationship perfect. Oh and equal to be open to compromise with each other. 

I find it hard for...well let me say it this way. I find other people who judge someone on materialistic things and not the persons personality and character hard to understand. So for someone to not judge a gay male who occasionally wears high heels (prefer 5inches and up platform, oh a boot review coming soon) and carry a fabulous bag or two...or three. But nonetheless just have a fabulous taste in expressing one's mood when the time is right. Without them giving dirty looks or having something slick to say. I think many others like myself just want that supportive partner and I feel that I haven't met this guy and if I had then what's stopping him from asking me out?  Saying all this to say at the end of the day and lonely nights I need to first polish my own trophies before trying to add another to the mantel to showcase. 

Maybe 2014 might be the year... Who knows, but I do know that I'm not picky but I just can't waste my time nor the other person who is interested in myself if at the start of my mornings I'm not a bit interested. I've been down that road before and it's not cool. Having to tell someone after more than a few dates that you weren't interested in them from the start but was too scared or weak to let them know before they caught feelings ain't cool. So I choose to silently let someone know I'm not interested. I do think if you stay friendly and just let them know your interested in other people they should catch the clues. It's just so awkward telling someone oh, I'm not interested because I don't find you that eye catching. Now don't get me wrong, I like my men half ugly and half cute, but it I'm just not attracted, then I'm just not. So I could understand if a guy is not attracted to me physically but to not like me because of my shoes or whatever materialistic is just crazy. 

Anyway, new blog in a couple days, stay tuned. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. 


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